{"id":50994,"date":"2020-08-07T14:10:13","date_gmt":"2020-08-07T22:10:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/akwildberry.com\/?page_id=50994"},"modified":"2020-08-18T16:06:28","modified_gmt":"2020-08-19T00:06:28","slug":"11-rules-of-chocolate","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/akwildberry.com\/education\/11-rules-of-chocolate\/","title":{"rendered":"The 11 Rules of Chocolate"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\t

Chocolate Humor<\/h1>\n\n\t

\t\tThe 11 Rules\n\t\tof Chocolate\n\t\t<\/h2>\n\t\t\t\t\"Chocolate-Humour-Dark-Chocolates-AKWildBerry\"\n\t

WE DON’T KNOW THE ORIGIN\u00a0of these hilarious rules of chocolate but we agree with\u00a0every single one!<\/i><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. If you’ve got\u00a0melted chocolate\u00a0all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly.<\/li>\n
  2. Chocolate-covered raisins, cherries, orange slices, and strawberries\u00a0all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.<\/li>\n
  3. The problem: How to get\u00a0two pounds of chocolate home from the store\u00a0in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.<\/li>\n
  4. Diet tip:\u00a0Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It’ll take the edge off your appetite and you’ll eat less.<\/li>\n
  5. Chocolate also contains milk which is dairy. So\u00a0candy bars are a health food.<\/li>\n
  6. If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge.\u00a0Calories are afraid of heights\u00a0and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.<\/li>\n
  7. If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate,\u00a0is that a balanced diet? Don’t they actually counteract each other?<\/li>\n
  8. Chocolate is derived from cacao beans. Bean is a vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar cane or sugar beets. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category too.\u00a0Therefore chocolate is a vegetable.<\/li>\n
  9. Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of things to do today. That way at least you’ll get one thing done.<\/li>\n
  10. A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place.\u00a0Isn’t that handy?<\/li>\n
  11. If you can’t eat all of your chocolate it will keep in the freezer. But if you can’t eat all your chocolate,\u00a0what’s wrong with you?<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Chocolate Humor The 11 Rules of Chocolate WE DON’T KNOW THE ORIGIN\u00a0of these hilarious rules of chocolate but we agree with\u00a0every single one! If you’ve got\u00a0melted chocolate\u00a0all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly. Chocolate-covered raisins, cherries, orange slices, and strawberries\u00a0all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want. The problem: How […]<\/p>\n

    <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"parent":50915,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"site-sidebar-layout":"no-sidebar","site-content-layout":"page-builder","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"disabled","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"disabled","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"default","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-50994","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"acf":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/akwildberry.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/50994","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/akwildberry.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/akwildberry.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/akwildberry.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/akwildberry.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=50994"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/akwildberry.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/50994\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":51183,"href":"https:\/\/akwildberry.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/50994\/revisions\/51183"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/akwildberry.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/50915"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/akwildberry.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=50994"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}